Monday, September 12, 2011
Nina Hartley as Laybor Sexretary. Nobody is better suited for this position than Nina. Nina has been in the lay business since the Reagan Administration and has a very keen understanding of how to work the tools of her trade and how to get the maximum effort out of the workforce. Her feminist, atheist leanings may cause some controversy but its a controversy I'm willing to have to keep Nina on my staff.
Department Of Headucation Sexretary. This was a tough position to fill, but Belladonna came out ahead due to her well received licktures to college frat boys and sorority girls on Shane's World about the importance of a good headucation. The Headucation sexretary is also a visible job, which means her having to deal with the media. Her 2007 Diane Sawyer interview makes her perfectly suited for this job.
Cummerce Sexretary. Nobody knows the ins and out of cummerce better than Wifey from Wifey's World. She promotes and projects domestic cummerce unlike any other woman I've seen. Her slide in, face first mentality, is whats needed to navigate the thick salt waters of economic growth. Wifey is up to the task. She's willing to roll up her sleeves and bring the ship to shore like the very best of sea men.
Sexretary of the Enter Her Rear. Because of the many controversies that this department has ensued, cocaine use and sex with oil and gas representatives among other things, I'm gonna need a real tight ass to run this department. A real tight ass hole to clean up the scandalous mess. Of course I won't be cleaning up anything. I just need the perception. Ava Devine's ass gives me that perception. Ava's ass gives me a nice trunk to store my junk. Ava's ass provides me with booty that no regulator will ever find.
Body Woman. My personal assistant, Caramel will be responsible for getting me up in the morning, for holding my blackberry, for making sure I get to eat all my favorite foods while on the road including caramel and for following me around all day making sure that I'm hard and happy. A hard and happy President is a Peaceful and Prosperous country and world.
Until next time...