Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Whooty Wednesday

  Welcum ladies and gentlemen to my milestone tenth post of the award winning Politics and Porn blog site. As a way to cummemorate such n achievement I wish to introduce a topic very near and dear to my heart. Whooties. White women blessed with an ample booty. According to the latest census figures, black women still hold the advantage over all when talking about bubble butts but the snow bunny is cumming up, and through strong targeted congressional legislation ivory should be able to close the ass gap among the races. Here are a handful of my favorite whooties whose whoopie cushions keep me up at night...

  Ass loves coco. When I first heard of this coco character I thought she was some new hot black stripper Ice decided to put his T in. Instead, she turned out to be a tiny white thick chick with an ass you can stand a beer can on. There goes to show you that stereotypes should stay in radio shack where they belong..  Cum on Coco. You've done Playboy. You've taken sexy topless videos of yourself. Take the next logical step and put that ass in porn. You've teased the penis populace long enough. 

  Jayden James disses dark dick? According to a recent Jayden James blog entry, this brunette booty is really perturbed about being accused of racism. The accusations being that Jayden didn't allow for the mandingo meat to enter the upper west side during a mutli racial gangbang scene . Jayden claims she didn't know of the atrocity until after the scene was over and that she dates black men in real life and that she has black friends, all of the standard talking points when dealing with the prickly issue of racism. If she were an IR dodger I would call bullocks but this chick takes ebony wood on screen like its about to go extinct so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

  KardASSians Keeping Me Up. Word on the street is someone is trying to buy up all the Kim K sex footage in an effort to try to take it off the market. So the one person in this world who hasn't seen Kim "baby I'm gonna cum"  Superstar, your gonna have to resort to oral second hand accounts. Or the Internet. What a travesty. What makes this country great is having the freedom to walk into a store and purchase a DVD of a woman getting her whoopie cakes shaken by her boyfriend. If we don't have that than America is no better than one of those socialist commie freedom hatin' countries.

    Lisa Ann's ass can be seen from wassilla. What's not to love about this onion? And I'm no Johnny cum lately, I've been admiring Lisa's big booty Judy since the grainy VHS days of the mid nineties. It's nice to know her fame and my johnny has risen to new heights with her serra paylin impressions. Now in the mid nineties whooties were a rare breed so I falsely believed that that caboose was fake. I say falsely because I recently saw that pressed ham up close and personal at the Pink Pony in Atlanta. Got a little squeeze. I'm no assologist but it felt real to me. 

  Ricki Do The White Thing. Damn. That ghetto booty should be doing nothing but gang bangs. No one man  should have all that tuckus. She's defied the sociological odds of being a whte woman in an America that once said that she shouldn't have a large rump roast. However things have changed to the point that a whootie can proudly put her fanny on display without fear of ridicule and scorn. We have a long way to go in erasing such a damaging legacy but  I believe Ricki's ass along with others will eventually take us to that promised land. Two cheeks at a time...

  Until next time...

Friday, September 23, 2011

Political Pole Dancers

        According to The Week, the government of Iceland, last year outlawed all businesses that profited off of the nudity of its employees. That's right. NO STRIP CLUBS! Such a travesty has predictably got the feminists waving their hairy arms in victory, but like the prohibition of alcohol, all this ban will do is force tits and ass underground. An underground that isn't regulated and is much more dangerous to the workers. Thank GOD most of our polititicans in America have the sense enough to see the value of these pollsters. In fact, here are a handful of our lawmakers who have used these pollsters and have seen their political fortunes rise.

   Who is she? A girl I met. Robert Mecklenborg, former Republican member of the Ohio House Of Representatives, family values legislator, and roman catholic had a cum to Jesus moment after being pulled over for having a burned out headlight, being drunk as a skunk, full of Viagra and having temporary Kentucky plates in Indiana. Oh, did I mention he had a stripper in the car as well?  Okay I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was giving the dollar dancer bible lessons on the fly. The alcohol was in place of the wine used for the blood of Jesus and the Viagra pills he popped took the place of his body.

   Hot tub time machine.  "The girls had cocaine and the music was loud. It was total happiness. And both of them had ten long red fingernails with an endless supply of beautiful white powder..... The feds spent a million bucks trying to figure out whether, when those fingernails passed under my nose did I inhale or exhale and I aint telling." This quote from "The Charlie Wilson Real Story" about a 1980 hot tub dollar dancer encounter makes twelve term Democratic Representative from Texas Charles Nesbitt Wilson  a mother fatherin P.I.M.P.!  Yeah he supported the right wing Somoza government in Nicaragua and helped to arm the mujaheddin, but he did drive black citizens from poor neighborhoods to vote early in is career so that evens out right?..... Right?

   Hey baby lets have grave sex.. Roland Corning, former Republican legislator and former South Carolina deputy assistant attorney general got busted in a secluded cemetery with an eighteen year old Platinum  Plus Gentleman's Club Dollar dancer in his SUV, along with  a Viagra pill and several sex toys. With Mark Sanford having to hike the Appalachian trail to see his mistress you would think that there were no HOtels in The Palmetto State. 

  Don't Cry For Me Argentina.. Cum now Wilbur Mills, Arkansas Democratic House Member and Chairman of the Ways And Means Committee. No need for violence. However on October 9th 1974 there was. It seems like ol Wilbur had a stripper spat with Argentina dollar dancer Annabelle Battistella or "Fane Foxe" which resulted in facial injuries for Mr Mills. Of course, Willy was intoxicated and after police approached his car at night for not having his lights on, Foxe leapt from the car and into a tidal basin to escape. Surprisingly enough Willy was re Congross a month later.  Arkansas has some strange polititicans...  

   Until next time...       

Monday, September 19, 2011

Provocative Political Ads

     While watching the youtube clip of mayor Ilse Uttersport of Adulst, Belgium getting caught in the woof woof position  I immediately thought that this would make a great marketing tool for people to cum to her castle. Nothing brings hundreds of people out to a destination like the possibility of seeing someone getting plugged in public. Sex sells baby, just ask these polititicans who decided to use T N A  to get elected.

    " Dos Grandes Argumentos". "Two Big Arguments" indeed. Sole Sanchez Mahamed, who happens to be the head of Menorca Spain's Partit Democratic De Ciutadelia party decided to put her puppies on a poster in her bid to becume mayoress. As expected, the image  stirred much controversy.  Her opponents, some how managed to keep their hands of their penises just long enough to file a complaint with Spains feminist Institut Del la dona, who claims the image to be sexist. Sole's response was to go bigger. To enlarge what was a photo into a huge poster to place in front of her campaign headquarters for all to see. VIVA Las Tetas!

    "Wir Haben Mehr Zu Breten".  "We Have More To Offer". Vera Lengsfield, German parliamentary hopeful of Angela Merkel's Christian Democratic Union Party, opted to hand out campaign posters of herself and the good chancellor in low cut cleavage wear. And thank god for that, because the face on this broad would send me running for the fuhrer. I must admit though, at fifty something they both have a nice pair of coconuts. I see why Bushie got so graby feely on Chancellor Merkel some years back.  Looking at her WMD almost set off a nuclear explosion in my pants. Predictably, Vera is receiving push back from the women's wing of the CDU, chiding her for using what they call an 'outdated sex sells campaign." Well there's nothing outdated about sex selling as evidenced by the 17,000 people who flocked to Vera's election blog after seeing her peaks and valleys.

    " Votar Es Un Plaer."  Who knew Voting is a pleasure? Who knew sticking a ballot in a box would be so orgasmic? Did you see the passion? The longing? The desire? "Rock The Vote" carries a whole new different meaning for me now. You have to hand it to the Young Catalonian Socialists who came up with this idea. Being Socialists I expect the sequel to be a voter orgy where everyone participates in the spoils equally. That would increase turnout for sure. Opposition leaders in Spain have called the ad "an attack on the dignity of women". I say anything that helps a woman get off like that should be bottled and preserved for future generations. 

     "Der Einzige Grund Schwarz Zu Wahlen Zeit Fur Grun". The only reason to choose black. Time for Green. An... interesting ad by the German Green Party to say the least. The word "black" in the ad is a play on words since "black" is the official color of Angela Merkels CDU Party and black is the color of the ample ass that's being grabbed by white female hands. I could go into the hyper sexualization of black women and all that, but I will take the green party at their word when they say the ad was meant to be tongue in cheek. They do have a history of supporting "the underdog" so I will remain calm cool and collected. Anyway, to borrow a phrase from famed philosopher Robert De Niro...  GREAT ASS! 

   Until next time...

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Banning Boobs

According to the cutting edge website, last year the Australian Classification Board came to the conclusion that it was okay to ban the depiction of small breasted women in adult publications and films. The flimsy reason given was that small cans on a porn star might give people the idea that they are minors even though they aren't, which in turn would encourage pedophilia, thus violating the National Classification Code. Well I call hogwash! This is titism plain and simple and I won't stand for it. Neither will these four members of the critically acclaimed NAAACP, The National Association For The Advancement Of A Cup Porn stars.

 Charlie's Angel Goddes Kacey Jordan. What are you trying to say Australian Government? That Charlie Sheen is a kiddie porner? Coke head? Yeah. Batterer of women? Allegedly. Winner? No doubt, but pedophile he is not! He is just a proud member of the itty bitty titty committee and so am I!

 This Orient Express is for adults only!  What are you trying to say Australian censors? That I'm a lover of tweens just because I'd like to put my fortune inside Kaylani Lei's cookie? That I'm outside of some movie theater waiting for "Twilight" teens to emerge because I like watching dudes on screen fill the pino of this Filipino? If I'm wrong for that I don't want to be right.

  Roxy's Butt Power. With that great ass backing her up, Roxy Reynolds wouldn't be put out of work as quickly as others but an injustice is an injustice. And don't think for one minute that the Australian boobists out there are going to stop with just putting up "Big Boobs Only" signs. Oh no, if they can cum for tiny tits today you better believe that they will be cumming for ample asses tomorrow.

  Sasha Grey's Entourage. I know, I know, the only wood Sasha Grey is taking these days is Hollywood, but this porn turned mainstream actress still holds a kinship with her fellow porn alum. In fact she has offered to use her new found legit celebrity status to bring to light the awful discriminatory practices of the Australian "no lump" policy. She plans to hold a telethon to raise money for the victims while Bono plans to make a visit to the land of the kangaroos.

   Until next time...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Prostitute Parking Meter

   According to The Telegraph, officials from the German city of Bonn have cum up with an ingenious way of taxing street prostitutes by issuing parking meters in which they have to buy tickets from in order to practice their trade. Considering prostitutes are already tax paying citizens, advocates for theses working girls argue that this pussy parking meter is nothing but an unfair double tax on the worlds oldest profession. I agree, and so do these handful of former and current polititicans who have indulged themselves in the pleasures of the illegal flesh.

JERRY! JERRY JERRY!...  Who knew the king of chair throwing t.v. had such a raunchy past? In 1974, Democratic Councilman from Cincinnati, Gerald Springer had to resign from office after revelations revealed that he sprung for the services of a prostitute in a massage parlor. After cumming clean to the press and being honest about his pay for play services, the public forgave him and ended up re-electing him a year later.

 The booze made me do it.... In 1980, Maryland Republican Congrossman Robert Bauman, a staunch conservative, roman catholic, moral values extremist and founder of conservative activist group "The Young Americans For Freedom", decided to take liberties with a sixteen year old male prostitute. Being the upstanding, take responsibility for your actions Republican, Bauman blamed his moon lighting on his alcoholism and sexual addicktion.

Democratic Sausage Maker... In 1990, Massachusetts Democratic Congrossman Barney Frank was reprimanded and censured by his colleagues for sticking his frankfurter inside the buns of a male prostitute named Steve Gobie. Much like Catherine The Great, Barney The Terrific took care of his male lover by giving him an assistant job and allowing him to run a sex business out of his home. Allegedly.

 Yes Madam, May I have Another?...  Ah yes, family values Republican Louisiana Congrossman David Vitter in 2007 has been named on a list of polititcans who succumbed to Pamela Martin And Associates, a company owned by D.C. Madam Debroah Jeane Palfrey. Like all hypocrites before and after, he had to beg  forgiveness for his sins with his wife by his side.  Please polititicans, whenever you get caught with your pickle in a jar leave the grieving wives at home.

 The Emperor Has No Clothes... In 2008, client 9, Eliot Spitzer former Democratic Governor of New York lived like a king as he patronized a prostitution service called The Emperors Club VIP. Spits had several liaisons with prostitutes from the agency to the tune of $80,000 but his tryst with Ashley Dupree is the stuff of legend. Paying for her train ticket to New York, cab fare, mini-bar, and hotel, spitzey, paid her a total of $4,300 in cash. Money well spent by the looks of things.

   Until next time... 


Monday, September 12, 2011

Porn President

     While watching the President talk to Congross about infrastructure spending, small business tax credits,  and making the rich pay their fair share, I couldn't help noticing just how grey this man has gotten. Pressures of the job I guess. Not only does this man have to pull the nation out of the brink of a lost decade, but he has to not screw up in any way that would destroy the chances of Kamala Harris or any other future black presidential candidate from winning the presidency. Well, white folks better enjoy this light skinned, calm, cool, can speak with a negro dialect if he wants to black man for as long as opportunity allows because when we get to the point in this country when we can elect and re elect black screw ups the way we do white screw ups for president I'm going to run. And when I win it isn't going to be No Drama Obama, I'm going to run the Black House the same way Kwame Kilpatrick ran  Manogian Mansion. Strippers, parties and all around debauchery. Allegedly. In fact, here is a handful of names I plan on putting in positions of power inside my Black House to keep me grey free for eight years...


   Monique Fuentes as Vice President. As the demographics in this country rapidly change from white to brown, a Black/Brown alliance will surely give me the election, while Monique's tits will surely give me an erection. As V.P., inside my Black House, her two main functions will be to break vote ties in the senate and to walk into my Presidential Daily Briefings wearing nothing but a thong.

     Nina Hartley as Laybor Sexretary. Nobody is better suited for this position than Nina. Nina has been in the lay business since the Reagan Administration and has a very keen understanding of how to work the tools of her trade and how to get the maximum effort out of the workforce. Her feminist, atheist leanings may cause some controversy but its a controversy I'm willing to have to keep Nina on my staff.

     Department Of Headucation Sexretary. This was a tough position to fill, but Belladonna came out ahead due to her well received licktures to college frat boys and sorority girls on Shane's World about the importance of a good headucation. The Headucation sexretary is also a visible job, which means her having to deal with the media. Her 2007 Diane Sawyer interview makes her perfectly suited for this job.

 Cummerce Sexretary. Nobody knows the ins and out of cummerce better than Wifey from Wifey's World. She promotes and projects domestic cummerce unlike any other woman I've seen.  Her slide in, face first mentality, is whats needed to navigate the thick salt waters of economic growth.  Wifey is up to the task. She's willing to roll up her sleeves and bring the ship to shore like the very best of sea men.

Sexretary of the Enter Her Rear.  Because of the many controversies that this department has ensued, cocaine use and sex with oil and gas representatives among other things, I'm gonna need a real tight ass to run this department.  A real tight ass hole to clean up the scandalous mess. Of course I won't be cleaning up anything. I just need the perception. Ava Devine's ass gives me that perception. Ava's ass gives me a nice trunk to store my junk.  Ava's ass provides me with booty that no regulator will ever find.

  Body Woman. My personal assistant, Caramel will be responsible for getting me up in the morning,  for holding my blackberry, for making sure I get to eat all my favorite foods while on the road including caramel and for following me around all day making sure that I'm hard and happy. A hard and happy President is a Peaceful and Prosperous country and world.

     Until next time...