Monday, September 12, 2011

Porn President


     While watching the President talk to Congross about infrastructure spending, small business tax credits,  and making the rich pay their fair share, I couldn't help noticing just how grey this man has gotten. Pressures of the job I guess. Not only does this man have to pull the nation out of the brink of a lost decade, but he has to not screw up in any way that would destroy the chances of Kamala Harris or any other future black presidential candidate from winning the presidency. Well, white folks better enjoy this light skinned, calm, cool, can speak with a negro dialect if he wants to black man for as long as opportunity allows because when we get to the point in this country when we can elect and re elect black screw ups the way we do white screw ups for president I'm going to run. And when I win it isn't going to be No Drama Obama, I'm going to run the Black House the same way Kwame Kilpatrick ran  Manogian Mansion. Strippers, parties and all around debauchery. Allegedly. In fact, here is a handful of names I plan on putting in positions of power inside my Black House to keep me grey free for eight years...

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   Monique Fuentes as Vice President. As the demographics in this country rapidly change from white to brown, a Black/Brown alliance will surely give me the election, while Monique's tits will surely give me an erection. As V.P., inside my Black House, her two main functions will be to break vote ties in the senate and to walk into my Presidential Daily Briefings wearing nothing but a thong.


     Nina Hartley as Laybor Sexretary. Nobody is better suited for this position than Nina. Nina has been in the lay business since the Reagan Administration and has a very keen understanding of how to work the tools of her trade and how to get the maximum effort out of the workforce. Her feminist, atheist leanings may cause some controversy but its a controversy I'm willing to have to keep Nina on my staff.

     Department Of Headucation Sexretary. This was a tough position to fill, but Belladonna came out ahead due to her well received licktures to college frat boys and sorority girls on Shane's World about the importance of a good headucation. The Headucation sexretary is also a visible job, which means her having to deal with the media. Her 2007 Diane Sawyer interview makes her perfectly suited for this job.


 Cummerce Sexretary. Nobody knows the ins and out of cummerce better than Wifey from Wifey's World. She promotes and projects domestic cummerce unlike any other woman I've seen.  Her slide in, face first mentality, is whats needed to navigate the thick salt waters of economic growth.  Wifey is up to the task. She's willing to roll up her sleeves and bring the ship to shore like the very best of sea men.



Sexretary of the Enter Her Rear.  Because of the many controversies that this department has ensued, cocaine use and sex with oil and gas representatives among other things, I'm gonna need a real tight ass to run this department.  A real tight ass hole to clean up the scandalous mess. Of course I won't be cleaning up anything. I just need the perception. Ava Devine's ass gives me that perception. Ava's ass gives me a nice trunk to store my junk.  Ava's ass provides me with booty that no regulator will ever find.


  Body Woman. My personal assistant, Caramel will be responsible for getting me up in the morning,  for holding my blackberry, for making sure I get to eat all my favorite foods while on the road including caramel and for following me around all day making sure that I'm hard and happy. A hard and happy President is a Peaceful and Prosperous country and world.

     Until next time...

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