Friday, September 23, 2011

Political Pole Dancers

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        According to The Week, the government of Iceland, last year outlawed all businesses that profited off of the nudity of its employees. That's right. NO STRIP CLUBS! Such a travesty has predictably got the feminists waving their hairy arms in victory, but like the prohibition of alcohol, all this ban will do is force tits and ass underground. An underground that isn't regulated and is much more dangerous to the workers. Thank GOD most of our polititicans in America have the sense enough to see the value of these pollsters. In fact, here are a handful of our lawmakers who have used these pollsters and have seen their political fortunes rise.

   Who is she? A girl I met. Robert Mecklenborg, former Republican member of the Ohio House Of Representatives, family values legislator, and roman catholic had a cum to Jesus moment after being pulled over for having a burned out headlight, being drunk as a skunk, full of Viagra and having temporary Kentucky plates in Indiana. Oh, did I mention he had a stripper in the car as well?  Okay I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was giving the dollar dancer bible lessons on the fly. The alcohol was in place of the wine used for the blood of Jesus and the Viagra pills he popped took the place of his body.

   Hot tub time machine.  "The girls had cocaine and the music was loud. It was total happiness. And both of them had ten long red fingernails with an endless supply of beautiful white powder..... The feds spent a million bucks trying to figure out whether, when those fingernails passed under my nose did I inhale or exhale and I aint telling." This quote from "The Charlie Wilson Real Story" about a 1980 hot tub dollar dancer encounter makes twelve term Democratic Representative from Texas Charles Nesbitt Wilson  a mother fatherin P.I.M.P.!  Yeah he supported the right wing Somoza government in Nicaragua and helped to arm the mujaheddin, but he did drive black citizens from poor neighborhoods to vote early in is career so that evens out right?..... Right?

   Hey baby lets have grave sex.. Roland Corning, former Republican legislator and former South Carolina deputy assistant attorney general got busted in a secluded cemetery with an eighteen year old Platinum  Plus Gentleman's Club Dollar dancer in his SUV, along with  a Viagra pill and several sex toys. With Mark Sanford having to hike the Appalachian trail to see his mistress you would think that there were no HOtels in The Palmetto State. 

  Don't Cry For Me Argentina.. Cum now Wilbur Mills, Arkansas Democratic House Member and Chairman of the Ways And Means Committee. No need for violence. However on October 9th 1974 there was. It seems like ol Wilbur had a stripper spat with Argentina dollar dancer Annabelle Battistella or "Fane Foxe" which resulted in facial injuries for Mr Mills. Of course, Willy was intoxicated and after police approached his car at night for not having his lights on, Foxe leapt from the car and into a tidal basin to escape. Surprisingly enough Willy was re elected.to Congross a month later.  Arkansas has some strange polititicans...  

   Until next time...       

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